This week, the books on my desk are well-thumbed favourites by authors who have inspired me to question my values around education. I am swatting for my first community meeting in Sligo Sudbury School. Once a year, parents and staff members gather to discuss challenges or questions that arise when the philosophy of self-directed education hits the road.
What inspires me most, is how applicable the learning is for me. Whether we are four or forty, a curious, playful approach to education will encourage us to discover the things we love and have fun in the process. Here’s a brief thought from each author and a little storytelling of my own.
Trust
‘All I am saying in this book can be summed up in two words - Trust Children. Nothing could be more simple - or more difficult.’ - John Holt
A pile of bark chippings was delivered to Sligo Sudbury School to refresh the paths. The children put forward a petition at the school meeting that it be used instead for play. The motion was passed.
Hole Town, as it is known, is a micro-community with individual housing, its own currency and a complicated structure of governance. When I ask my younger two how they spent their time at school, they might say, ‘We were in Hole Town all day.’
To some, the idea of children mucking about in a pile of bark all day is absurd. I choose to trust that there is a wealth of learning in that community that is impossible to quantify. My theory is that the children (the majority of whom joined the school when mine did) have created a bite sized version of the school society. They are ‘playing’ at democratic community. In this way, they can practice conflict resolution, voting procedures, consent-based learning and free trade agreements.
Play
‘Self-education through play and exploration requires enormous amounts of unscheduled time—time to do whatever one wants to do, without pressure, judgment, or intrusion from authority figures. That time is needed to make friends, play with ideas and materials, experience and overcome boredom, learn from one’s own mistakes, and develop passions.’
When my eldest had a brief stint in primary one, the teacher removed his shoes and put them on his desk because he would not stop tapping the floor. This itch was not stilled until we put a guitar in his hands. Since then, he has spent countless hours a day, every day, playing his instruments. I often joke with him that when he is a famous musician he can thank me for allowing him to experience so much boredom!
Adults can play too.
I have watched my kids discover their passions in wide open spaces of unscheduled time. Yet I allow myself so little. I am determined to remedy this in my forties. Play, as a wholehearted practice, is doing things just because they're fun and not because they'll help achieve a goal. Like jumping into the ocean, cooking outdoors, foraging and succumbing to the Sligo surf bug.
Nafas
Leah Boden introduced me to this beautiful word. It refers to a concept in Syrian home cooking where the maker slowly develops a delicious balance of flavour and ingredients when preparing a meal. It also speaks to love and generous hospitality that is poured into the food.
‘Educational nafas … lies with the ‘home cooks’ not the experts and academics. It’s about your heart, soul, and physical preparations and what you impart to your child’s learning days…The secret ingredient is found in the love of the family and your desire to lay out a unique but incredible, full life for your children.’ - Leah Boden, Modern Miss Mason
Whether our kids are at home or in school, we get to stir the pot of their days.
We’ve been trying new things as our kids get older and more teenagy. We spent a month watching The Queen’s Gambit then playing chess by the fire. When a tree came down in the storm, my daughter suggested we use the wood to make a chess set. We’re chasing that spark through sawdust-related eye infections and whittling wounds until the king and queen are installed. We’ve also bought tickets for punk rock concerts, an excellent scrambling guide for Connacht and fishing floats in every colour.
Following their whimsy makes for unusual flavour combinations, but I trust my palette will adapt.
Democracy
‘In a democracy, we are talking about taking choice seriously.’ - Roland Meighan
Natural Born Learners is a printed collection of interviews aired on Radio Free School focused on unschooling and autonomy in education. One of the contributors, Roland Meighan, was an incredible critic of oppressive education. In this collection, he speaks about learning systems fit for democratic society with personal choice at the core. He talks about the radical notion that we consider children as people worthy of consultation. He promotes critical thought and celebrates children who question authority and share power with the decision makers.
It is fascinating to watch my children integrate in a democratic school. I love to hear how they spend their time, what groups they choose to join, what committees they gravitate towards and how much they engage with democratic processes.
One of my children has found a home in the Justice Committee, a group of students and staff members who oversee conflict resolution in the school. Another benefits from the accountability of answering to the committee regularly!
They learn a lot by getting bored and choosing to take responsibility for their days. If they want things to be different, they have to be part of the change.
At home, I find it challenging. I took my kids on a ramble over half term and reflected on how difficult it is to rally my eldest for these trips. He told me in no uncertain terms, ‘I am not a hiker, mum’. As it happened (and this is so often the story), we had a great adventure and he was glad he came. I sense, however, that this window of corralling him is closing. I am determined to pack as much river and bog into his childhood before it does.
The flip side of taking choice seriously, is when they choose connection. My eldest has taken to setting up his guitar in the kitchen when I am cooking. We put on some music, he plays the bass line and I sing along. On Saturday, I kept baking as long as he kept playing. Two cakes, a batch of cookies, two dozen muffins and an oven full of rusks later, we came up for air.
No Guarantees
‘Facing the reality that there are no guarantees with parenting, no matter how much you want to get it right, is a frightening thing. Everyone wants certainty deep down, and to know that they aren’t screwing their kids up.’ - Naomi Fisher
A colleague once asked my husband, ‘Don’t you think it’s a risk to take your kids out of school?’ to which he replied, ‘Don’t you think it’s a risk to keep your kids in school?’
We all take risks without any guarantees. None of us get to have certainty. We’re all doing our best not to screw it up.
Naomi’s book helped me understand the science of learning. She also advocates for joy and meaning as a foundation for education - whatever form that takes. Fisher completely re-frames the teenage years as a time when young adults can try lots of new things without the pressure of financially supporting themselves. I much prefer this expansive view than the notion that they need to knuckle down and pick a career at this stage.
She goes on to say:
‘Something happens when children are in an environment in which they are valued and accepted for who they are. They see themselves as capable and as contributors to their community.’
And that’s it. It is what I want for myself; it is what I want for my children.
As I continue to prepare for an evening of discussing self-directed education, I have to pinch myself. For so many years my husband and I read these books in isolation. Now, we can gather with a diverse range of people to chat about the philosophy and practicality of this learning style. What joy to be contributors to our community.
These thoughts are skimmed off the surface of a topic close to my heart. I would love to open the comments to any questions you might have for a future post. Some common ones I am asked are: What do they do all day? What about exams? What’s wrong with a curriculum? Are they tested?
Please, if you have a question or perspective, whatever it is, fire it in the comments. I’d love to hear from you.
This had me smiling ear to ear Beth. Particularly the part about you pinching yourself. Nothing makes me happier than the thought of you two surrounded by fellow fringe friends.
Love this, Bethany! And thanks for the mention 🫶🏻