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J Cos's avatar

Timing is great Bethany. We are two mothers raising our toddler and our new baby (8 weeks) - it is not easy and yet it is what we want. No one talks about the anguish, pain and the guilt paired with the beauty and love of it all.

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Bethany Joy Dawson's avatar

Congratulations you two! I hear you on the not-easy-but-what-I-want score. We feel that because we chose it, we forfeit the right to admit that it's hard. What nonsense! Wishing you comfort and joy in these early, roller coaster days x

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lorna mills's avatar

I revisited those early days of toddler & baby earlier (reading an old journal from after my son was born) and it made me cry - I was talking about myself so nastily I wished I could go back and give myself a hug. I had genuinely forgotten how hard it was. The vast chasm between the needs of a toddler and baby and the guilt at not looking after either of them “properly” and so much more. I know it’s hard to believe but it will get easier in (not that much) time. Give yourself more grace than you think you need and then a little more. You are doing amazing 💛

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J Cos's avatar

Lorna, thanks so much for that. Honestly that does really help xx

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Brittany Stoess's avatar

this is beautiful. i’m 7 months in and this really resonates. thank you 🤍

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Bethany Joy Dawson's avatar

Hi Brittany, I'm delighted to hear that. Sending love to you at seven months! x

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Leah Boden's avatar

"I was not distracting myself from motherhood, I was refuelling so I could pour myself into their lives every day. This, too, is maternal." Goodness, Bethany - this piece is breathtaking!

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Bethany Joy Dawson's avatar

Thank you my beautiful friend x

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Ciara Ohartghaile's avatar

Absolutely loved this piece Beth, gorgeous and full of the sorrowful joy of being a mother, losing yourself and finding her again xxxx

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Bethany Joy Dawson's avatar

And isn’t she a damn sight braver when you do!? Thanks, Ciara, I really appreciate that x

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Ruth Joy Morrison's avatar

The mother of the mother is weeping. Twelve years a grandmother and profoundly thankful.

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Bethany Joy Dawson's avatar

Thanks, mum. How has it been 12 years! X

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lorna mills's avatar

Oh my god Bethany you are a blessing of a woman. I re-read some journal entries from the months after Ren was born earlier today and I so dearly wanted to hug that version of me. Motherhood is desperately lonely when we find ourselves not quite matching up to the idea we had of ourselves as a mother. I’m glad for the many archetypes that exist beyond perfection - there’s room for all versions of us. Thank you for bringing your vibrant honesty to the circle and to this space. Love you mama 💛

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Bethany Joy Dawson's avatar

Thanks so much, Lorna. I feel exactly the same when I re-read my old journals. It reminds me to extend grace to myself in this season when I am so quick to give myself a hard time! You're amazing xx

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Kerri ní Dochartaigh's avatar

❤️❤️❤️ This is everything

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Bethany Joy Dawson's avatar

Thank you xx

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Wendy Adams's avatar

This piece moved me deeply. I too am weeping. It captured some of my early struggles, and now stirs in me a desire to be present and compassionate as I prepare to welcome another grandchild. Thank you.

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Bethany Joy Dawson's avatar

Thank you, Wendy. I really value that feedback. And congratulations x

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